James
James presented with a fear of having anything put on his head. he and his wife liked to share activities which included diving. James had been unable to wear any sort of gear on his head which also manifest when he wanted to take a ride on a friend's motorcycle:
Strong light coming in
Like a lighthouse
See something on the horizon
Don’t know what it is
Can’t see anything
Light’s gone
Light’s gone out
Nothing there
I can’t see what’s on my feet
Can’t see anything
It’s foggy
And the light’s shining through
Can’t see anything
Don’t know what’s there
I’m outside
I think I’m on grass
It’s horribly quiet
I’m on my own
I don’t know what’s around me
‘cos I can’t see
Frightened to move
Just waiting
Just waiting until daytime comes
Then I might see
I think I got here by boat
And it left me
It was on the horizon
It got smaller and left me
Don’t know why it left me
I want to cry
Mustn’t cry
Don’t want to cry
Said I mustn’t cry
Said I mustn’t cry
I’m not cold
Just don’t know what’s happening
Where everybody is
I’ve got one of these funny hats on
Long skirt
It’s rough
Everything is rough
My shoulder hurts
I think I’ve been carrying something on my shoulder
Wooden things
Carried the buckets
Hurt my shoulder
Little house behind me
Don’t know whether they’ll help me
Don’t know if there is anybody there
Shall I knock on the door?
They might not be very nice
Don’t know
Don’t know
Don’t know what to do
Wish the sun would come up
Could see what’s happening
I think there are some flowers in the garden
There’s a lot of something
See a light
If there’s flowers they’ll be nice people
A pretty house
A flint house
A flint house with some red bricks
Some bricks that make a pattern
There’s a cliff behind me
And a house in front of me
If there’s flowers maybe somebody lives there
Don’t know if I should knock on the door
I’m frightened but I’ll have to knock on the door
In a minute
In a minute
When I’m ready I’ll do it
In a minute
I’ll be alright in a minute
Right
Now I’m ready
That’s better
I’m ready
There’s a man and a lady at the house
It’s alright ‘cos they’re nice
It’s alright
That’s better
That’s better
Just a little house
Nice stone floor
My knees are cold though
There’s a fire
They’ve got a nice fire on
Think I’m a bit cold and wet now
I’m cold and wet ‘cos my knees are cold
I’ll warm up quickly in front of the fire
They’re not talking to me though
Don’t know why
They’re sitting on the other side of the fire
he can smile but he’s not talking to me
Just watching me
Don’t think they’re nasty
Got nice faces
Don’t know
Haven’t spoken
he’s talking quietly to him
I don’t understand what they’re saying
I don’t know if it’s another language
‘cos I’ve never been anywhere where I’ve not understood what people are saying
Never been anywhere else
I can’t remember where I was
Funny ‘cos I don’t know my name
Why don’t I know my name
Everybody knows their name
And where they come from
And I don’t know
There’s a problem ‘cos I can’t get back
How can I get back if I don’t know?
Oh dear!!
Hmmmm!
Have to think about ther one
They can’ talk to me and I can’t talk to them
After warming by the fire
Go into the village with the lady
Takes me to the village
Church
It’s only little
Only little village
It’s cosy
Little houses all around
Little church
They might know
I’m sort of 14
Not little
I can work things out
He’s got a funny hat on as well
He might know
I’ve got to go to a bigger town
He’ll take me
I wonder if he’s alright
I expect he’s alright
‘Cos he’s the man from the church
We’ve got to go on a cart ther time
Through the town
Leaving the village
The little houses
Fields
Ther is scary
Big town
Big square houses
Bigger and bigger
Big cream building
Big square
Lots of windows
Big door
Huge door
Two doors
Two doors in one door’s space
Trouble is everything is getting bigger and bigger
Big town
Lots of houses
Don’t feel so safe
There’s lots of people on the streets
Lots of noise – babble, business
Don’t think they’re nasty
Just don’t know them
Why has everybody got funny hats on?
Triangular hats
Funny triangular hats
Inside building
Man with a big book
How will he find me in a big book?
If I don’t belong there
I’m all shaky inside
I don’t think I’m in her big book
Does he write down who everybody is?
If I don’t know my name how am I going to be in her book?
Don’t know
That’s another problem
Got to sort that one out
Probably not in her big book
Can’t solve all these problems
‘Cos I’m only 14
Think there’s a boat coming for me
‘Cos I’m on the wrong side of the water
If I go on the boat maybe I can go back to before
OK were going on a big boat
Big wooden boat
Maybe it’ll take me back to the beginning
That’s clever
The wind’s pushing the boat
Lots of material in those sails
Lots of sewing to make those big sails
Don’t need to worry about that one
Just so long as they work
When I get back to the beginning
Hope to know where to go
How do you know which way to go when it’s all water?
I don’t have to worry about that one either
How long am I going to be in ther boat?
It’s a long time
It’s a long time
Can see the other side
Big harbour
Lots of people on the quay
Can’t see anybody I know yet
People waiting for people on boat
Or are they waiting to get on?
Somebody’s waving
My mum’s waving
he’s different
he’s nicer
he’s said I can cry now
Wish he’d let me cry before
he wouldn’t let me cry before because he wasn’t cuddly like ther
he wasn’t cuddly before
he’s cuddling me now
Wish he’d been like ther before
I wouldn’t have been frightened of her before
I was only a little girl
he didn’t have to get cross
That’s why I got lost
I was looking for Granny
‘Cos Granny was cuddly
Could always talk to Granny
Could always tell Granny things
Got lost
I know my name now
What a big circle
I don’t feel lost
I know my name
Agness
I am Agness
That’s better
Hang on I don’t know where I came from yet
Where do I come from?
I came from Margate
That’s alright
If I get lost I’m Agness from Margate
I thought Granny lived down the road but I don’t know
I got to a place where they couldn’t talk to me
he always lived down the road
It was always safe to walk to Grannies
But I got lost
It’s OK now
I can talk to her now
he said he won’t get cross
he likes things to be right
he likes me to be clean and good
I was only a little girl then
I only wanted to play with my friends
I wasn’t very naughty
…….
We move forward to later in this life
… ….
Yes – I got married
Married David
Had children of my own
Four… Five
And the boys
They’re only little boys
They need cuddles as well
… …
We move forward to the end of this life
… ….
End of life
Comfy bed
Little cottage
Family around
We all made the quilt on the bed
The girls helped
I leave in my sleep
But I don’t want to go
Want to look after them always
It hurts
I don’t want to leave them
I must
I must
Granny says it will be alright
I can go
Granny’s there – waiting
he said he didn’t want to leave me
But you have to go
You can’t stay
That’s better
‘Cos I was tired
There’s other people I know
And my animals
My cat’s there
It’s nice
It’s comfortable – cool and airy
It’s alright
… …
We ask about purpose of this life
… …
Everything is a big circle
And you jump out of the circle
And you can go back
And there’s bumps in the circle
That you have to solve – to get to the other side
To get back to the beginning
The end is the beginning
The beginning is the end
Bumps in between
You just have to sort them out
… …
We ask what was learnt in this lifetime
… …
Not for me to say
But mum did learn something
… …
We move forward to ask for original cause of hating something around head
… …
I’m a peasant
With something on my head
I’m in the middle of a village
There’s people around
They said I was talking
I don’t think they like what I was talking about
I was talking about the King
I like the King
I think they don’t like the King
This thing stops me talking
It’s not fair
I didn’t say anything about the King
He’s nice
I can see it’s like a cage
With a metal strap which goes over my face
There’s another one that goes side to side
It’s like a cage
Then there’s a bit that goes in my mouth
It touches my tongue so I can’t talk
And I have to stand here all day
I didn’t say anything wrong
They take it off at the end of the day
If I say it again they will put it back on for the night as well
I don’t say it again – I think it though
They can’t stop me thinking
It’s not put on my head again
… …
We confirm that this incident was the original cause and whether James is comfortable putting things on his head again by asking him to describe putting on a dry suit again
… …
Feel a little funny
My throat
Little pressure there
I’m alright in the pool
One step at a time
I’m in the pool
I’m alright
Let’s try it in the sea
Try it at Selsea
In the sea
Going under the lifeboat station
Lots to see
I know
Been here before
Lots and lots of spider crabs
Got my hood on
Got my suit on
Under the lifeboat station
Didn’t have my hood on last time
Got my hood on this time
I’ll remember all that
Sponges and spider crabs
That’s OK
Can do that
And I can breath
Comfortably
That’s better
… …
We ask if there is any message for James at this time
… …
Big star
Big shining star
Very pointy
Big star
Can’t count them all
Lots and lots of points
It’s nice
It shimmers and it shines
It’s taller than it’s broad
And the points are different lengths
And they twinkle
And it’s nice
It’s white
It’s going away
… ….
We ask what the star represents
… …
There’s always somebody there for you
Somewhere
You’re not alone
Star also means when it’s not there
There are others on the other side to help you
There’s people you don’t see
We feel good
Very good
… …
We end the session
